Hiya internet. I’m Murphy. I really am using this platform to improve my writing, and ability to tell stories. I hope those who read this enjoy it. And to give you a bit of a decent idea into some of the types of things that happen to me – here’s the most told story onto why I am called Murphy.
Every 6-7 months I usually go insane and rearrange all the furniture in my bedroom. I don’t know why I do this. I really really don’t. At the time, I had this 32 in heavy as a puppy-sized elephant television. I got it moved off its stand, and back on it again, just fine. My downfall was forgetting to hook up my Playstaion 2. When I adjusted the TV to access the back input pluggy thingamabobs, it went tumbling down and landed on my left foot. It left a rather impressive bruise, and I had to hobble around for about a week because of it. I didn’t see the doctor for this. I called in to let the doctors know what had happened. They didn’t think there was a break or fracture and more thought I was just a bit dumb.
Fast forward 6 months.
My younger sister and I are home alone. I’m supposed to be babysitting her, but I’m 19 years old, and she’s 16. We’re both not used to the freedom that comes with our grandmother going to stay with our Aunt. So, naturally this meant staying up in the wee hours of the morning watching horror flicks and giggling because ye Cthulu monkey we can laugh and not be scolded for making noise (my grandma, while loving and I love her to death, is a just a touch on the controlling side). Around 2 in the morning I got thirsty. Got up from the wonderfully cushy armchair I was lounging in onto a nice, soft carpet. And heard a very loud crack, followed immediately by a onslaught of pain. I sat back down. Panicked a little. Told my sister to get me both a glass of water, aspirin (DO NOT DO THIS EVER – more impressive bruising because aspirin = loose and cheeky blood dancing all over your body), and the telephone to call my parents about the crack and pain.
I didn’t see the doctor until the late morning. But my second toe in the middle of my foot had a clean break in it. They aren’t entirely sure why. Or how. I did get yelled at for breaking medicine. Again. (Future story – the time I had 3 separate concussions at the same time, and bounced up stairs)
There is the theory now that a few years have passed – now that I can look back at these experiences with fondness and a healthy does of seriously what the fuck why – that when the television smashed my foot it did leave a hairline fracture. Because I never went to the hospital – just called in and was happy with the you’re dumb stop doing things like this, I won’t ever be sure. But I put a lot of pressure on that foot in those six months. I was excessively active. And I think that my bone just went no. Fuck this, and snapped.
Next time – Disneyland, part one.